hush little baby

Once there was a sea inside
where a babyswam unfinished
fingers fluttering hard
against the skin within there
where no one else could get through
those hot days long
he went on swivelling
'round my womb blind
with bellyblood, silly baby
on my inside, stirring
nothing inside of I
had been another someone once
the fattening happened
quick like that things changed at school-
girl no longer, now a mother
-youngster, with a baby-
heavy belly bloating my youth
isn't always pretty
hard work, all that lumbering, clumsy
bones bearing the alien weight baldly
everyone sideways eyeing you
were the worst: you're too young
was i informed, you can't love now
keep being obedient
as ever, I bent against the blob hissing
"dumb kid" as she went, mum left
off loving, and dad did too
young to understand feelings
all crammed together
in failure. we didn't love well
'till then she'd not asked much
of her talk did come kind
of tough race she'd run though
I'd let her down once already
i was ending any small lovings well trying
my best not to let them down