water baby

Your veins ran clear with sea, back then
water being borne back to your deepest heart
hard and fast. Whispering under your skin
Saying stay, oh, stay. That was some time ago now.
Though sometimes still, your head betrays you in the waves;
I see it thrusting forward, your face at a bright-paned window.
Where are you? Because despite this hole in time
an ache still comes and goes behind my teeth, and in my eyes.
I remember. Or actually, I can't forget. Even nowadays
when the waves that sounded in my soul are still
'cos no-one surfs there anymore. Forget it. Anyway, listen.
There's something I've suspected for some time now:
I think there is a way back. Find it, if there is.
Then I could stop bloodying my lip with biting.
Or even if you …maybe then we? I wish I could…
Christ. You were here on Thursday. By Saturday you had gone…
Ugh. Stop it. As I was saying, you must be somewhere.
Maybe lazing on a secret island, head still breaking through waves
Safe. Although sometimes in storms I worry for you.
I just thought you should know. You're out there.
It's just the endless blue. It's keeping me from seeing you.
And I don't know when I realised you're still waiting.
Although, sometimes I think I do.